random thoughts

i'm struggling with some personal issues. just saying.

working on april events

being asked to go above and beyond the cosmos for work

eating eating eating and waiting to stop and realize i'm waiting for myself

i'm a little angry that food isn't working as it did and that i'm still eating.

if i'm going to eat, i want the satisfaction (stomping feet) or at least the fog.

how to i free the one thing i hid and protected all those years ago

do i want to. no. do i need to. i think so

terror OY VEY deep breath

this part of me, the kernel i call it, is so protected that i can't even access it at the moment. it's the me that looked down from the ceiling, the me that was before the silence, the me that is me that i refused to let anyone have, ruin, destroy

it is what i am and i'm still not going to let anyone tarnish or corrupt it

how do i protect all that i am and still share who i am with myself and others

i hope i find the answer while there's time left to reap the benefits

mineminemine
protect fists up
fierce growl determination unmovable
folding in wrapping up in silence anger fear self preservation
protection like fort knox with a treasure more precious than anything on this earth

mine me I