Thursday, April 24, 2008
Sometimes Silence Does Work
This Friday April 25th is the National Day of Silence which seeks to bring attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools by purposely remaining silent for the duration of the school day.
Monday, April 21, 2008
A law enforcement officer speaks out
CHECK THIS OUT... Mrs. D's interview with a law enforcement officer about how victims are handled and why victims do not report the crimes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN29riSZG50
AWESOME~!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN29riSZG50
AWESOME~!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
My Thing?
Is advocacy for victims, survivors, thrivers my thing? Is this what I've been looking for all my life? It feels right. It feels like this is deep down "yes, you are supposed to do this." I am leery though. All my life I've found what i thought might be "it." I am notorious for starting a project and then when there are expectations of me, to just stop and run away. Is this a survivor issue? Hmm. Dunno.
I would like this to be my thing. I feel I have something to offer with my story and experiences. I think I represent the quiet, unassuming, don't notice me portion of survivors. We're the very quiet ones who carry the biggest swords, in my opinion, but we just don't know how to wield them! We're the ones who do all the unconscious thinking that we don't even know we're doing.
I am amazed now that I am able to think consciously about my abuse and my survivor issues how much I've already thought about it. Does that sound bizarre? Maybe. It TOTALLY makes sense to me!
I'm hoping by watching and researching Angela Shelton that I can wield my sword. I found it and took it out. OUCH! But after the initial pain (which was not as bad as a hyped it up to be in my mind) WHOA the freedom!
(so again here I reach the point where I am total overwhelmed inside. I have all these emotions/thoughts/feelings that are just pressing up. I must figure out what to do when I get here. They stop me. FYI: i'm trying this kind of writing to maybe break it, but it's not working. ARGHHHH!)
Squishes to me for getting this far! YOU ROCK, DI!
I would like this to be my thing. I feel I have something to offer with my story and experiences. I think I represent the quiet, unassuming, don't notice me portion of survivors. We're the very quiet ones who carry the biggest swords, in my opinion, but we just don't know how to wield them! We're the ones who do all the unconscious thinking that we don't even know we're doing.
I am amazed now that I am able to think consciously about my abuse and my survivor issues how much I've already thought about it. Does that sound bizarre? Maybe. It TOTALLY makes sense to me!
I'm hoping by watching and researching Angela Shelton that I can wield my sword. I found it and took it out. OUCH! But after the initial pain (which was not as bad as a hyped it up to be in my mind) WHOA the freedom!
(so again here I reach the point where I am total overwhelmed inside. I have all these emotions/thoughts/feelings that are just pressing up. I must figure out what to do when I get here. They stop me. FYI: i'm trying this kind of writing to maybe break it, but it's not working. ARGHHHH!)
Squishes to me for getting this far! YOU ROCK, DI!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Finding Angela Shelton--the Book
Wow.
The book has a lot of the movie in it, but more behind the scenes, more of Angela's thoughts and fears.
I'm still digesting. I do have to say that I am amazed that Angela was able to speak out. She shares her thoughts -- some thoughts I've had myself and swore I would never share because I thought I was crazy. When Angela says them, though, she didnt sound crazy. I totally identified.
I have also had the thoughts that maybe nothing did happen. Maybe it was childhood imagination (although where that would come from, who knows). Since I've been really thinking and trying to write or talk out what happened to me, I have discovered there are things I can't remember, but know happened. Now, to me that sounds stupid or crazy. But it's not. It just is. I know that I know.
What I got from the book is that I don't have to remember every detail. WHAT A FREAKIN' RELIEF. Other tahn Angela's videos , there is no manual for this stuff. I don't really need to know the details. I don't really want to know any more. What I do remember is enough, thank you very much.
It was very cathartic to read someone else's thoughts and journey. The silence binds us...keeps the secrets tight and in an angry, black ball inside. When we speak, it's scary, it hurts, it's humongous. But..
it's better. I swear to you, it gets better. And after even just one or two times, it's better. It's out there, in the world, shared with others. The burden is lessened. I don't understand why. I thought I had to keep it bound and safe and away from everyone else. NOPE!
If Angela's words helped me, maybe mine can help someone else. Share? Somebody else will know? (hearing that voice whispering...don't tell don't tell) YES! And the world didn't end, and I'm still alive.
THERE IS NO SHAME! Even if your body responded. Even if for one nanosecond you enjoyed the attention. THERE IS NO SHAME!
You are NOT your abuse. Your abuse happened to you. Just like you tripped and fell. Just an incident. It does not have to define you. Yes, I know it affects us and we are forever changed. WE decide what that change is. WE decide what we do with our experiences.
What are you going to do with your experience?
The book has a lot of the movie in it, but more behind the scenes, more of Angela's thoughts and fears.
I'm still digesting. I do have to say that I am amazed that Angela was able to speak out. She shares her thoughts -- some thoughts I've had myself and swore I would never share because I thought I was crazy. When Angela says them, though, she didnt sound crazy. I totally identified.
I have also had the thoughts that maybe nothing did happen. Maybe it was childhood imagination (although where that would come from, who knows). Since I've been really thinking and trying to write or talk out what happened to me, I have discovered there are things I can't remember, but know happened. Now, to me that sounds stupid or crazy. But it's not. It just is. I know that I know.
What I got from the book is that I don't have to remember every detail. WHAT A FREAKIN' RELIEF. Other tahn Angela's videos , there is no manual for this stuff. I don't really need to know the details. I don't really want to know any more. What I do remember is enough, thank you very much.
It was very cathartic to read someone else's thoughts and journey. The silence binds us...keeps the secrets tight and in an angry, black ball inside. When we speak, it's scary, it hurts, it's humongous. But..
it's better. I swear to you, it gets better. And after even just one or two times, it's better. It's out there, in the world, shared with others. The burden is lessened. I don't understand why. I thought I had to keep it bound and safe and away from everyone else. NOPE!
If Angela's words helped me, maybe mine can help someone else. Share? Somebody else will know? (hearing that voice whispering...don't tell don't tell) YES! And the world didn't end, and I'm still alive.
THERE IS NO SHAME! Even if your body responded. Even if for one nanosecond you enjoyed the attention. THERE IS NO SHAME!
You are NOT your abuse. Your abuse happened to you. Just like you tripped and fell. Just an incident. It does not have to define you. Yes, I know it affects us and we are forever changed. WE decide what that change is. WE decide what we do with our experiences.
What are you going to do with your experience?
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