Finding Angela Shelton--the Book

Wow.

The book has a lot of the movie in it, but more behind the scenes, more of Angela's thoughts and fears.

I'm still digesting. I do have to say that I am amazed that Angela was able to speak out. She shares her thoughts -- some thoughts I've had myself and swore I would never share because I thought I was crazy. When Angela says them, though, she didnt sound crazy. I totally identified.

I have also had the thoughts that maybe nothing did happen. Maybe it was childhood imagination (although where that would come from, who knows). Since I've been really thinking and trying to write or talk out what happened to me, I have discovered there are things I can't remember, but know happened. Now, to me that sounds stupid or crazy. But it's not. It just is. I know that I know.

What I got from the book is that I don't have to remember every detail. WHAT A FREAKIN' RELIEF. Other tahn Angela's videos , there is no manual for this stuff. I don't really need to know the details. I don't really want to know any more. What I do remember is enough, thank you very much.

It was very cathartic to read someone else's thoughts and journey. The silence binds us...keeps the secrets tight and in an angry, black ball inside. When we speak, it's scary, it hurts, it's humongous. But..

it's better. I swear to you, it gets better. And after even just one or two times, it's better. It's out there, in the world, shared with others. The burden is lessened. I don't understand why. I thought I had to keep it bound and safe and away from everyone else. NOPE!

If Angela's words helped me, maybe mine can help someone else. Share? Somebody else will know? (hearing that voice whispering...don't tell don't tell) YES! And the world didn't end, and I'm still alive.

THERE IS NO SHAME! Even if your body responded. Even if for one nanosecond you enjoyed the attention. THERE IS NO SHAME!

You are NOT your abuse. Your abuse happened to you. Just like you tripped and fell. Just an incident. It does not have to define you. Yes, I know it affects us and we are forever changed. WE decide what that change is. WE decide what we do with our experiences.

What are you going to do with your experience?