joy joy where is my joy
is it at mcdonalds
is it at JC Penny or Lane Bryant
is it within the chocolate bar
the smell of the acrylic paints - is it there

joy joy how do i identify you
for so long i was passive and said, whatever you want
and i was ok 90% of the time
whatever, eh, sure fine

now that i'm wanting my joy
i'm battling the passivity and the absolute utter
lack of regard for what i want

what do I want
the answer to that is where my joy lies
paint, food, sun, company
WHAT!?!!

joy joy wherefore art thou?

paint/emotion palletes

black red yellow orange blue purple green
colors
waiting to come out
nothing does
they're there shouting
i put paint on the palette
and nothing looks like my colors
mixing adding scraping
no

how do you get out of you
what you can't get out
i feel the colors and i can't see them
create them
paint them

akin it to this
anger rage joy happiness love engagement
waiting to come out
sometimes only anger does

they're there shouting
the emotion pallete is blank
stirring introspecting forcing
no

how do you get out of you
what you cant get out
i perceive the emotions are there and I can't feel them
embody them
express them

perhaps it's time for vision bear -- crud